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Post by Yoshi on Oct 20, 2005 18:32:42 GMT -5
Any1 heard a joke that knocks your socks off lately?Post it here,rules:
1.say a joke that just cracks u up. 2.ppl can put comments of the joke. 3.If I read a joke that I say is below an 8/10,I will announce it on the post. 4.Laugh! ;D
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Post by kirbyboo on Feb 4, 2006 12:26:38 GMT -5
hi
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Post by darkfoxkirby on Jun 27, 2007 12:47:51 GMT -5
...i thought it was spos to be a joke.....not a greeting.... *wonders y im hear*
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Post by kirbyboo on Jun 27, 2007 15:58:25 GMT -5
lol
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Post by darkfoxkirby on Jun 27, 2007 20:55:37 GMT -5
wats so funny....? *wanders y im hear*
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Post by darkfoxkirby on Jun 29, 2007 4:21:08 GMT -5
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is." he replied, "Breakfast." *wonders y im hear*
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Post by darkfoxkirby on Jun 29, 2007 4:22:20 GMT -5
It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."
The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."
St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.
He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"
St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.
"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.
"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator ..."
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Post by darkfoxkirby on Jun 29, 2007 4:23:11 GMT -5
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
1) If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. 2) If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. 3) If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. 4) If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. 5) If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour."
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Post by darkfoxkirby on Jun 29, 2007 4:24:12 GMT -5
Speaking of airports in Germany, the one servicing the Hamburg area is known to be staffed by a rather snooty ground control crew. They expect you to know exactly where to go and what to do, which may lead to frustration on the part of aircraft captains new to the route. This is the account of one such flight in particular, concerning a senior captain ...
"Tower, British Airways one-seven, completed rollout, awaiting further instructions."
"British Airways one-seven, this is Hamburg ground, clear to taxi to Gate Seven."
"Roger, Hamburg ground, request directions to Gate Seven."
"British Airways one-seven, have you never been to Hamburg before?"
"Yes, a number of times, Hamburg ground, in 1944, but we did not stop!"
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Post by darkfoxkirby on Jun 29, 2007 4:24:52 GMT -5
Three men were taking a trip on a plane. When they get on the pilot tells the passengers not to throw anything out of the windows. The plane lifts off and they're on their way. On the plane the first man finds a pencil and wondering what to do with it. He is told by one of the other men to throw it out the window, so he does. Then the second guy finished his apple and wondering how to get rid of the core. He asks the other two men, they tell him to throw it out the window, so he does. Next the third man finds a grenade! Panicking he throws it out the window.
After the plane had landed the three men were walking down the street when they came across a guy holding his eye. The three men asked him what happened, he said he had looked up in the sky and a pencil fell and hit him in the eye. So the three men continued down the street and they come across a man holding his head, the three ask him what's wrong? The man says that he was walking down the street and an apple core fell on his head! Feeling a little strange the men continue down the street when they come across a man holding his stomach lauging his head off! The three ask him what's so funny? The man replies, I farted and that building exploded!
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Post by darkfoxkirby on Jun 29, 2007 4:28:56 GMT -5
An airliner is coming into land at an airport obscured by fog. Visibility is practically nil, the ILS system is on the blink, so the pilot has to land on wits alone. "Flaps, check," he says to the co-pilot, "Landing Gear, check. Altitude, check. Right, we're going in. Hold on." The plane lands and comes to a screeching, grinding halt; just short of the edge of the runway. "Holy Cow!" exclaims the pilot, "This must be the shortest runway I've ever landed on!" The co-pilot looks left and right and says "Yeah, and about the widest, too ..."
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